There’s been a theme in conversations of late, one I’ve heard many times before, yet it all hit differently this week, which tells me how common it is.
The grief experienced in relationships, situationships or secretly on ones heart.
From your heart to another
There’s a grief that’s unspoken, not acknowledged, confused by so many other different things. One that when you think it’s clear, it pops back up, months, years, even decades later.
The one who you loved yet they didn’t love you back.
Maybe the one you were scared to open your heart to.
The one with whom you loved each other yet something else stood in the way.
The one who you wanted to love yet they didn’t tick the family/friend mould.
Or the one you secretly loved from a distance and watched them love another.
It’s the grief for someone who still stands on this earth.
Oh how love can feel so cruel at times,
Yet love is love, is love, and love is only but a beautiful thing.
To love is to care. To love is to risk. To love is to be true to your heart.
Some will say you have it confused for love,
Some will say love isn’t that complicated,
Who are they to say what you feel?…that is only for you to know and learn.
You can love multiple people in a lifetime, if you allow yourself too, that’s a beautiful thing. Everyone wants the same thing, to be loved, to experience love, to love another.
So how do you heal from such grief, this unspoken one that you’re told to just let go of, pretend it’s no longer there.
Like all grief, you learn to live with it, you learn to sit with it, feel it and let it move through you, for nothing can be done to correct it back to what you want it to be. It is not you living in the past, it’s your memories and we all have them, beautiful, wonderful memories of those you let your heart touch. Memories that paint a part of your lifes story, that gave you many gifts in many ways.
Whether it’s a snapshot in your mind of that person standing in a certain place, doing a certain thing, or actual moments shared with them, they get to be filed in your memory bank to access anytime, to bring a smile to your face, warmth to your heart, comfort to your soul. We all have them and we all get to keep them.
This grief is also speaking directly to YOU.
Giving you information about yourself, about your heart, about what you love,
It’s opening up so much truth of yourself that you may be ignoring,
And it’s this style of grief that is asking you to step more towards your truth.
And just as love for another was given, it’s love that will see you through,
The love you give back to yourself, to keep living, keep moving forward, to keep choosing truth over anything else.
It’s not wrong to love from a distance.
It doesn’t mean you can’t ever love another again.
It doesn’t take the love of another away from them either,
It means you have heart, which is beautiful, even in the moments you may not feel like it is, but it is. The heart can love more than you believe it can, it’s capacity to love is large.
Love is kind, not cruel.
Love is soft, not hard.
Love is a gift, not a curse.
Love is plenty, not limited.
Come back to you, to the relationship with yourself, give more love to yourself, so you can keep loving others.