Hands up if you like M & M’s….
And no I’m not referring to chocolate M&M’s either…although I do quite like them.
I’m more talking about Men & Money here…yes two things I also like (I mean come on who doesn’t right)
This post will either make you laugh a little,
Make you cringe…at yourself or at me (which I’m cool with)
Or make you think personally about where you sit with Men & Money.
They are two topics that people rarely talk about, post about, simply because we all like to look like we’ve got our shit together in these two areas…yet they are the two areas that many people find challenging, have challenges with and when these two don’t blend well together, they are the very things that separate one from the other.
So let’s talk about it….
To be completely honest with you, I never, ever, in my life, thought I would write much or anything about these two topics and the reason being is for a good part of my life Men & Money have been two areas, let’s just say, that I’ve had challenges with haha…yet I’ve decided to write now, simply because I’ve shifted, I’ve felt a shift, a massive one and I’m all for sharing the lessons where they lie.
So as I mentioned, Men & Money…two areas that seemed to slip through my fingers so to speak.
In both areas, we must learn to know our worth.
I could just end it right there…because really that’s all that needs to be worked on and acknowledged.
If you find you have relationship issues or find yourself in a relationship where you don’t feel connected.
Take a look at your relationship with money…it may be the same.
If you find you have money issues and find yourself not dealing with money well, head in the sand, no idea where you’re at financially.
Take a look at your relationship. Do you have your head in the sand there too.
I believe, and this is my take on it,
Challenges faced in one area can be reflected in the other.
If you don’t know, feel, live by your worth,
How on earth are you to know when someone is right for you or not.
How on earth are you to know how to choose where best to put your money.
Relationships & money both need communication for them to work.
Your money needs to know where it’s going…it needs a place to go, a reason to be.
Your money also must be treated with respect, trust, love, honesty, clarity, if you want to grow in this area, if you want to stop it all from slipping through your fingers.
Just as with a man (ok or women….I was just referring to men as thats my preferred preference)
Your relationship works on communication.
To be treated with respect, trust, love, honesty & clarity
It’s good for your partner to know how important and meaningful they are to you and that you feel connected with each other and as individuals in your relationship while still feeling connected.
For so long, money slipped through my fingers.
I had zero idea of where it went…it came and it went.
I would spend it…and it would make me feel better – for a moment, until the next time.
I would spend it to fill a void, to make me happy (short lived), to make me feel I was keeping up.
Same with relationships…I was looking for something in my relationships to fill a space I couldn’t fill myself,
Well, that I felt like I couldn’t fill myself.
Maybe they would do something great and I would feel great,
Or maybe they would not do something, I would feel let down,
I needed them for something – ohhhh ouch..not cool…what an eye opener that was.
The opposite can be true too.
If you hold so tight onto money…are you doing the same in your relationship.
Are you holding so tight onto your partner that they feel suffocated at times or you feel suffocated.
That there’s no movement.
Money is energy. Relationships is energy.
Money and Relationships are all about finding the movement with each other…finding a dance that you move beautifully with.
How you feel about yourself, can often be reflected in your relationships & money.
Money will move freely with you, if you move freely with yourself.
Your partner will move freely with you, if you move freely with yourself also.
Relationships & Money both deserve space, flow, trust, respect, love, and to know they mean well by you.
How do you greet your partner.
How do you greet your money.
Do you thank your partner,
Do you thank your money for all that it provides you.
Now before you ask…no I have not come into a tonne of money or won lotto and no I have not entered into a relationship….so you may ask, who am I to speak of this…
Well, you don’t need to be in a relationship, to work on this area.
Being by myself has given me the space to really get clear on what I want, what I see fits for me and also to see my own worth and not settle for less than what I know I deserve…Having a great relationship with yourself is important when having a relationship with others (this is not to say I won’t be tested when I get the opportunity to experience one again – it will come with new learnings, I know & expect this)
And money…well let me share a little something with you here too.
I actually lost all of my income – the lot, due to covid-19. Yeap the first week saw all my bookings in both my businesses drop down to zero. That first week saw me with not one cent coming into my bank account. I won’t lie, I had a major freak out on the Sunday prior to lockdown as I watched it all dry up…but then I snapped into action and looked at solutions that would keep me going. As I got into this space, I stopped freaking out, I still felt the feeling of abundance (note: abundance doesn’t come from having, it’s a feeling that must be felt first – your worth). I started working at Four Square as an essential worker during lockdown, I started creating ideas that I’ve been meaning to hit go on for some time, and now I’m thankful to say, I’m back photographing again thanks to my amazing clients.
My situation is different to others, some have been effected way more than me, some are in a much better situation than me, we can not compare one situation to another, this was just my own personal experience.
I knew some time ago, I had made some big shifts in these areas with M & M, but it wasn’t until I was tested that I really saw the actual shifts I had made for myself. Ha and there’s nothing like a pandemic to test you on it all hey.
We will always be tested in the areas we want/need to work on…oh shit will we be tested. But the most important thing to know and work on is finding, knowing, feeling your worth for yourself. Once you know your worth, your perception on things change, you gain clarity for yourself and you start to filter out what isn’t for you, you take full responsibility and your choices become more aligned.
When you know your own worth, it will be shown to you – that’s a beautiful experience in itself.
So take a little look at how you speak of, see, react too M & M
And where you see fit, make adjustments, make a commitment, work on knowing your worth and see what actions you can take for yourself.
If you’ve been hit hard due to covid-19, don’t give up on yourself…if you’ve been able to build something before, you can do it again.
And no matter what your relationship status, you get to work on this area too if you choose to have the kind of relationship that you wish for, just start with you.
Know your worth.