There’s not one specific time in our life that takes us from being a child to an adult. The number of our age changes, yet we don’t suddenly take on a different way of being…a different way of being is something we must be conscious of taking on and yes we have all had those moments that does step us into being an adult, deciding we want something else for ourselves, doing adult things (ticking the checklist of life off)…but still the majority of us are walking around as a child in an adults body in some parts of our life.
We hold onto things that happened in our childhood and act it out throughout our lives into our adult selves. How we respond to the world. How we deal with our emotions, how we treat others, how we communicate. What we learnt, how we saw others being, maybe what happened to us, what we decided was the safest way to be, we decided that’s how it is and so we continue.
This is no one’s fault, as we never know how our actions or words will be perceived by another. We all take on things and our children too, will take on things. We are not perfect pretty little humans who make no mistakes.
Who you were as a child, a teen, in your 20’s, 30’s and so on, all that you took on, acted on, does not mean this is who you are. We all have the chance to change who we think & know ourselves to be or who others think of us to be and become who we wish to be. We get to let go and let those parts of us die. Our needs can not always be met by others, but we have it in us to meet them ourselves. When we can give ourselves what we need, a strange but wonderful thing begins to happen. We start to see the world differently, we can understand others and ourselves better, we communicate better, we make better decisions & quicker, we pause more, we gain our inner power back, we begin to relax and have more fun and we feel at peace inside. Some things can be at the flick of a switch change, but many things will take time, work & patience.
In 2020 after lockdown, I remember feeling for the first time in my life ‘Like a woman’ not a young girl. I had given myself all that I was looking for from others to myself. I had trust in myself, I enjoyed who I was being, I had mended bridges, I had let go, my body was well and fit and I was ready for adventure & fun to explore more of this person I had become. I had nurtured the young girl in me.
After lockdown I joined dance….and bamm it opened me up to another level. It hit me with a part of me that I had not completely healed and I lost ‘The woman’ inside of me, although some parts strengthened, other parts rose to the surface. I saw & felt that little girl in me again. How I showed up, how I spoke, what I accepted, how my body felt, gained extra weight & how it functioned, it all threw me backwards…dance has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given, it is a part of my life and I am so grateful to have stepped into it. It shone light on what needed my attention. It has greeted me with some of my most cherished people who ‘just get me’ as I do them and the actions I’m taking to heal this part of me is one I will pass on to others to help heal themselves too.
As I take the time to step back into being ‘A woman’ again, please look at what it is you need and how you can gift that to yourself. Be honest about what sets you back, what holds you tight, keeps you still or quietens you, be honest about what opens you up too, they are all the places where your inner child hides. This is why exploring new things is beneficial for your growth. It’s not about getting rid of the child in you, as she will never leave, we need her, she’s the part of us that lets us have fun, laugh out loud, sing and dance…without a care in the world but the present moment…embrace her, accept her, love her and you too will start to ‘Feel like a woman’ – cheers to that!
Image: Self-portrait