A few weeks ago I had a moment,
You know those moments we don’t like,
Those moments when something feels like shit,
I could feel myself bubbling up inside.
On the outside I looked calm but I was anything but calm.
The feeling was rising straight to the top and fast.
I started to try and fight it,
I wanted to stop it from coming up,
I wasn’t ready for it.
For about 3 minutes I was observing myself,
All the thoughts that were going through my mind,
The way I was holding the tension in my body,
The way my body was moving,
Trying to distract myself from feeling.
All I wanted to do was eat, I wanted to jump in the car, drive down to the shop and treat myself to some good old soul food.
This is what I have always done in the past to stop me from really feeling the feels.
Reaching for the snacks, buying that butter chicken or anything that wasn’t good for me.
And if it wasn’t food, it would be to pour myself that wine or a glass of rum to take the edge off how I was feeling.
These were two of my go too’s for many years.
Some people go for a run or work out in those moments,
Some people eat,
Some people clean,
Some people drink,
Some people have sex.
Anything to feel good again,
To distract yourself from feeling right.
Anyway, while I was observing myself and fighting with all that my mind was telling me to reach for, instead I decided to surrender to it all.
This feeling wasn’t going anywhere and I had two choices.
To keep fighting it – which would mean it would stick around for a good length of time as well as do what wasn’t right for my body.
Or sit with it…
In which I choose the latter.
So I plonked myself on the couch and let it all rise to the top.
I stopped fighting it and allowed it to show up
I allowed myself to feel it, feel it all.
And by doing so, by letting the emotion move through my body like a current (I’m a water sign too so it will always flow)
It soon left, my body became relaxed, my mind was clear and I felt peace within me again.
And let me just say – Thank F#%$ for that.
So in those moments where you feel triggered, emotions start to take you over.
Allow yourself to stop and sit with it.
Rather than pushing it down and trying to ignore it,
Invite it in as you would a friend into your home – with open arms, compassion, love & forgiveness.
You will feel so much better that you did – trust me.
Once you get through the emotions of it all and it’s past, I can then look at the emotion in a different light.
You can have a look at where it’s coming from,
You can identify what the emotion is and then work on it from there.
This is all quite new to me, but all I can say is it’s a game changer.
It will change how you treat your body,
It will change how you carry on with your day,
It will change the way in which you react or respond to things and people.
And once again, it takes practice.
Some days I have lost the battle and food and wine won.
But I ain’t giving up….I’m getting better with practice.
And so can you.